Should I send one twin to camp without the other?

Yes, if one is ready and one is not. Being twins does not mean they are ready on the same day. Plenty of families send one first and add the other a summer later.

Is it unfair to send only one twin to camp?

No. Fair does not mean the same. Give the twin at home their own thing that summer too.

Should I make the hesitant twin go so they are together?

Usually no. A kid who is forced to go and only goes for the twin often has a harder summer. Ask why they do not want to go first.

One Twin Wants to Go to Camp and One Doesn't. Now What?

Your twins were born on the same day. That doesn't mean they're ready for camp on the same day.

One is begging to go. The other one says no way. And you're stuck, because it feels wrong to send one and keep one home.

The Short Answer

Send the one who's ready.

Fair doesn't mean the same. Your twins already get compared all day long. This is a chance to treat them like two different kids, because they are.

First, Ask Why

"I don't want to go" can mean a lot of things.

"I'll miss you." Normal. A good camp can help with this.
"I don't want to sleep away." Fine. Maybe next year.
"I don't want to be stuck with my twin." Interesting. Maybe they'd go if they had their own camp or their own cabin.
"I just like home." Also fine. Some kids aren't camp kids yet.

The third one comes up more than you'd think. Some twins say no to camp because they think camp means more twin time. Tell them they'd have their own cabin, and the answer can flip.

Don't Drag the Hesitant Twin

It's tempting to send both so nobody feels left out.

I get it. But a kid who's only there because of their twin has a harder summer, and they lean on the twin who wanted to be there. Now neither one gets a great summer.

The Twin Who Stays Home

This part matters. Give them something that's theirs.

A day camp they pick. A week with grandparents. A class they've been asking for. One-on-one time with you that their twin doesn't get.

Psychologist Joan Friedman is an identical twin herself. She says: "Longing for a more separate life does not mean they don't love their twin." (Washington Family)

That goes both ways. The twin at home isn't being left out. They're getting their own summer too.

What Happens Next Year

A lot of the time, the twin at home hears the stories all fall and wants in.

That's great. Now they get to go as themselves, not as the backup twin. Some camps will even put the second twin in a different age group if they're at different levels.

About My Camp

I own Camps Kenwood & Evergreen, a brother-sister sleepaway camp in New Hampshire. If only one twin is ready, send that one. When the other is ready, we'll make room.

See how twins do at Camps Kenwood & Evergreen

You got this,

Jack

P.S. Want to talk it through before you decide? Text me at 585-451-5141.

Related: Is my kid ready for camp?